When Chrissy arrived during the hottest April for 100 years, I was the proudest mum in the world. I was 23 and a first-time mum. It felt like my greatest achievement ever.
My baby looked flawless and her beautiful dark eyes seemed to take in every detail of her surroundings. In her little perspex cot on the maternity ward she waved her hands around so energetically that I called her our 'air traffic controller.'
Then the dark shadows started pressing in. Thank God we can't see what lies ahead of us.....
Like many children with undiagnosed genetic conditions, Chrissy was a failure to thrive baby. She struggled to feed and gain weight, and was floppy and sleepy - but she was a mass of contradictions. Mostly she was sunny-natured, alert and content to coo and watch the world go by but, even in infancy, she had prolonged spells of inconsolable screaming, and no one knew why. The rest is history and detailed in my book: 'Bringing Up a Challenging Child.... http://www.jkp.com/catalogue/book/9781853028748
Although we now know the cause of Chrissy's problems, she still remains quite an enigma to us and to her clinicians, despite spending three years in an assessment and treatment unit. We know her chromosome disorder causes hugely variable effects but her learning disabilities are significantly worse than most people affected by 1q21.1 microdeletion, even those with a larger area of deleted genes.
So where are we 29 years on?
We have another CPA (care plan approach meeting) coming up on Monday that we never expected to have. Chrissy has now been in the unit for over three years and is ready for discharge but despite my monumental efforts to find solutions and move things forward, she is still stuck there. The Government is very clear that people with a learning disability should be supported to live in their own communities so it is difficult to understand why there are so many barriers in place. I feel like I'm stuck too. It has been left to me to drive it all, and I now spend most of my time on this. It's the same with every major transition, eg when she went into the unit I was driven to the brink of despair along with her. Not only was I in pieces over her suffering but I fought epic battles to get her into hospital. Why does it have to be like this?
Mencap are very interested in Chrissy, and are finding it hard to understand why the situation has dragged on for so long. They are incredulous about the amount of correspondence that I've had to engage in to try and understand the barriers, and to try to move things forward for Chrissy. Her case has been brought to the attention of Chris Bull MP, who is leading the Joint Improvement Programme to move people out of assessment and treatment units after Winterbourne, and Norman Lamb MP, Minister for Care, who has asked to be kept informed of progress relating to Chrissy's case.
Our experiences are echoed by this excellent article highlighting flaws in the Government's plans to move people with learning disabilities and challenging behaviour out of assessment & treatment units into community-based settings:
http://www.communitycare.co.uk/articles/10/04/2013/119078/dont-ignore-housing-in-response-to-winterbourne.htm
Chrissy's most recent (and hopefully last for now) medication change has been from the antiepileptic, Keppra, to Zonisamide. Because she had three seizures in a row after Keppra was withdrawn, Clobazam, a benzodiazepine derivative like Valium, was added to Zonisamide and Epilim. Clobazam will be withdrawn when Zonisamide is titrated up to the therapeutic dose. Chrissy is already on the maximum therapeutic dose of Epilim. I've discussed seizure control/quality of life and my fears about the effects of medication on Chrissy's mood, health and general well-being in previous posts. Clobazam's sedative effect is dragging Chrissy down. I can't wait for it to end as it breaks my heart to see another drug stealing away her personality, and sapping her energy and intellect. I have to remind myself how far she's come - she rarely has screaming outbursts now and, as the effects of her medication wear off during the day, Chrissy is her old self again. It's a delight to see her enjoying jigsaw puzzles again, a skill she excelled at as a child.
Now Chrissy is more aware, she says with increasing frequency: 'I don't want to go back to the hospital.' I have sleepless nights, guilt trips and anxiety attacks over how she must feel living in a locked ward for so long, her suffering and disorientation from the effects of different medications, what she's gone through over the years, what the future holds for her etc. Of course I can only imagine how I'd feel in her situation but, no matter how hard I try to banish those thoughts, they haunt me. It would be such a relief to see her settled again near her family where we can be more involved on a daily basis and help with her support. It's the least she deserves.
I support Unique http://www.rarechromo.co.uk/html/home.asp & I'm a SWAN blogger
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